Something changed in me this week.
Usually, I'm restless. I worry about what others think about me. I crave being understood. I'm anxious about making the right decisions. I feel guilt. I feel fear. And I even feel envious of others who don't seem to feel these heavy, distracting feelings.
(For those of you thinking I just need a drink, you're incorrect: booze is no match for my unsettledness).
But when I woke up on Tuesday morning, my restlessness seemed to have dissipated. Overnight. As if by magic. Poof.
Bye bye, Monkey Brain.
The concept of Monkey Brain was first introduced to me by a friend who explained it to me while we were walking in a department store. I was asking why he thought most shopping aisles have an end-cap section. To which he replied: "because the store knows we all have monkey mind." Meaning, the store puts attractive items in prime spots because they know our capricious, fanciful natures will tell us we can't leave the store without the shiny thing on sale.
Through the years, I've been aware of my Monkey Mind, that whimsical, unevolved part of my mammal make-up that's operating on full steam when I feel out of control. But something in this quarantine period silenced it. I feel at peace this week. I feel calm and focused. I sit here wondering why, and it's a simple answer:
Because (outside of media), there is nothing in front of my face telling me I'm missing out, that I'm wrong, that I'm not enough. There's little to distract me, aside from the spring flowers in our woods. There is just my little family and our home.
And apparently the little we have is bringing out the most in me this week.
Reader, for the first time in everybody's life: there is NOTHING to miss out on, except the present. We're all inside in our homes. It's a great time to work calmly, get things done, and enjoy. I'm off to enjoy a little walk with my old dog, Hank. See you next Monday. -Em