I’ve always been an over-achiever. If there was a challenge, I wanted to best it. I aced my way through school, not because I loved school, but because I loved to hit high marks. But acing tests didn’t do much for me from a happiness perspective. I started drinking coffee when I was 14. I pulled my first all-nighter at 15. I had stressed my way into 3 auto-immune diseases by the age of 24.
No GPA is worth that kind of damn stress.
At some point, stressing out just became a pattern of behavior that I slipped into because I knew it well. It was oddly energizing. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t healthy, but it was a bizarre motivator. Perfectionism has a weird way of turning us into really ugly versions of ourselves.
Fast forward 20 years. My family and I just got back from a vacation to Oceanside, California, where we took in beautiful sunsets, palm trees, dolphins, and the Pacific Ocean. My kids especially loved the feeling of sand in their toes, something they don’t get to experience in the Midwest.
I just loved spending time with them.
Being present with the kids gave me a deep peace I haven’t experienced in a long time. No long days at the restaurant. No getting up at 3 am to write songs. No screentime to make me feel worried about the state of the world. Nothing to be successful at. Just enjoying my moment on the planet with some of my favorite people.
Now that’s a hell of an achievement.
Reader, goals aren’t a bad thing to have. They direct us and keep us focused. But over-achieving is exhausting. If you too have this tendency, I wish you a week of letting go of perfectionism and enjoying the moment. I’ll see you next Monday. -Em
