Delicate Ecosystems

When I was a kid, I was the crazy one.  The dreamer.  The prankster who couldn't stop laughing.  The stay-up-too-late writing music chic w/ a pot of coffee I didn't even like to drink, but man, it made me feel alive.

And it's no wonder, because I was part of a delicate ecosystem.  A family. One where my dad was serious, my mom was organized, and I knew that I needed to be the source of levity.

Now that I'm a restaurant-owning mother, I'm the serious one.  The one who pays bills, keeps tracks of doctors' appointments, makes dinner, and cleans the house.  I do these things not because I want to, but because I'm once again a part of a delicate ecosystem.  A family.  One where my husband is the fun one, my kids are crazy, my employees are the hands on deck, and I know that I need to be the one keeping us organized.  If I don't, there's a good chance we'll fall out of balance.

The trouble is, as much as I love my family, I miss being the stay-up-too-late writing music chic.

And reader, there must be a number of us experiencing this dilemma. So I'll tell you what I think: 

I think we need to belong to more than one ecosystem.  Here's why.

When I'm checked out of being a mom--spending time with my kids, but wishing I was at the piano--then I'm not playing my role in the ecosystem.  I'm not really bringing any balance to my family if I'm not balanced myself. There's no sense existing in that kind of false reality.  

So this week, I'm planning to carve out a little more time for another ecosystem, one where I don't need to be the serious one.  If you find yourself exhausted of the role you're necessarily in, I invite you to do the same.  Let's be better by expanding our worlds. I'll see you next week, hopefully more refreshed. I leave you with this picture of the sunset I drove into on Saturday night, strumming my ukulele, feeling there's more levity ahead. -Em 


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