Most of the week was a blur. On Tuesday, I slept for 20 hours straight. I remember the staff from my restaurant brought me soup and coffee. I remember listening to some new music releases, and I remember Facetiming my kids.
And that's pretty much it.
I've heard friends say Covid is like a light cold. The cookie crumbled a bit differently for me. I still feel like there's a heavy weight on my chest. If you're one of those folks--like me 9 days ago--who thought Covid might not be so bad for you: please take this virus seriously. If it weren't for an inhaler, I'd be having a hard time breathing tonight.
It was rare for me to be so isolated for a week. Even an introvert like me starts to feel lonely. But I was grateful for all the time to be an observer, to notice my own thoughts and feelings.
One of the things I noticed most was my self-esteem plummeting. I realized in my fever-fog that way too much of my self-worth comes from doing/giving to others. Without working for other people, I felt worse about myself. It was a scary revelation, one that I didn't like.
One that I plan on righting.
Reader, if you too get a little too much satisfaction from pleasing others, I invite you to join me in spending the whole damn summer learning how to make yourself happy. I started today by planting a whole garden of strawberries in my backyard. Because I like strawberries, damnit. I don't care that my kids prefer tomatoes and pumpkins. Time to work harder for ole Number One.
With that, I'm off to play a little music before bed. Take good care of yourselves, and I'll see you next Monday. -Em