Last night we hosted Friendsgiving at our house, and it put my heart in a great place. I don't say this often, but I'm glad the holidays are upon us. I could use the distraction...and some peace.
Daily life feels like an ongoing fight these days. I wake up every morning, mentally preparing myself for battle. At the restaurant, I've been stripping old primer off the interior bricks; I'm literally fighting paint. At home, I'm fighting my two year-old as he pushes every boundary we set. Even driving in the car is hard; I fought back tears all week listening to NPR report the news of the Rodhingya people killing entire cities of families in Myanmar.
Fighting is a central theme in my life. And I've got to admit, it fuels me, and in general, I like having things to fight against. It keeps a fire in my eyes, and I get a lot accomplished when I'm feisty. But it's also draining. And not sustainable. And unfulfilling.
And frankly, just plain ugly.
After a beautiful night with old friends, I got to thinking about how much I believe in self-fulfilling prophecy: the concept that our behavior is shaped by our expectations of how things will turn out. And I started to wonder...how much of my life is truly a battle, and how much of it am I manifesting? What if--instead of preparing to fight every day--I prepared myself for peace?
So I'm making an early New Year's Resolution. I'm going to wake up every morning for a month, readying myself for a kinder, calmer world. That's not to say I won't work hard or let atrocities happen. And it's not to say that battles won't be waged. But maybe I don't have to be so on the attack from the moment I wake up. Maybe the day will unfold a little less intensely if I don't believe it's something I have to "take on." Maybe the people around me will respond to my change of intention with more peaceful responses of their own.
And maybe this idea is totally dumb. But it's worth a try.
Reader, the world is a tough place, but let's not forget how we shape it. I hope you're able to relax into your Thanksgiving week with the ones you love. We all could use a ceasefire. I'll see you next Sunday. -Em