For well over a year, I’ve been in a kind of therapy called ACT. It stands for acceptance-commitment therapy, and I’m so grateful to my counselor Hallie for what she has taught me. There are several core principles of ACT, but there’s one that I use multiple times a day.
When I began therapy, Hallie had me make lists of my values as they pertained to different aspects of my life: my family, my music, my beliefs, etc. Those lists became guidelines called my “value direction.” When I’m at a crossroads or something frustrating happens, I look at my list and figure out how to respond.
It works like a dream, even in the bleakest of times.
Case in point. I’ve been feeling damn defeated about the state of the country, even before reading about the terrible floods in Texas last weekend. Lately the news deflates my spirit. I look to our elected officials for hope, and instead, I feel more helpless.
Then I look at my lists.
Feeling helpless is not listed anywhere in my values.
But fighting for those in need is in there a whopping lot. So instead of just reading the news, I’ve been keeping busy. Last week, I taught songwriting to kids at a local summer camp. I helped clean up a friend's house. I wrote a couple letters to some folks going through hard times, and I helped my restaurant team. Because these are the actions I know I can take and are in line with my values. Do they solve all the problems? No. Do they direct my energy into doing what I can?
Absolutely.
Reader, I’ve never mentioned therapy in my blog before because I believe it to be a private journey, but at this point, I think it’s too good of a practice not to share. My life is changing for the better because of it. I can’t recommend it enough.
I know I say it a lot, but we have to be who we are. There is strength in knowing ourselves and letting that knowledge guide our next move. Whether I was conscious of it or not, all the magical moments in my life have come from aligning my values and my actions and then connecting with others who are doing the same.
I leave you with a pictures of the care package I just got from the kids at the songwriting camp. Their gratitude feels like magic to me. Wishing you a week of strength and courage and self-knowledge and resilience. I’ll see you next Monday. -Em
