When I was a kid, I knew--unequivocally--that my very favorite food was bread & butter, my favorite movie was The Great Muppet Caper, and I wanted to be just like Whitney Houston when I grew up. These were cold hard facts, and they were set in stone.
Until I got a bit older.
At which point, my favorite food was vindaloo curry, my favorite movie was Cool Hand Luke, and I wanted to be just like Jane Goodall when I grew up. I was an adult, and I knew myself well.
Until I changed again. And again and again. Today, my favorite food is a raw oyster, my favorite movie is probably a bunch of This Old House episodes (played back-to-back), and as I age, I just want to be a bit more like my mom. She's more patient than me.
It's funny to me to think how much one person can change. If you would have told me 10 years ago what I'd be into, who I'd love, and what I'd be doing with my life, I never would have believed it.
And that's pretty great.
Reader, I find it tremendously liberating to know we are constantly shifting. We are as inconsistent, as wavering, as unpredictable as the weather. We ebb and flow, ever evolving, ever returning. There's no need to make decisions based on who we think we are, because we are mutable. New information, new people, new circumstances: all of it can (and will) change us.
Lately, I've been at odds with myself, wondering if I've compromised who I "really" am. I spend less time outdoors and more time with my kids and at my restaurant. The songs I'm writing have gotten more sultry, and the clothes I'm wearing have gotten more conservative. My tastes have changes completely. At my restaurant, I opt for salmon with a poached egg yolk on it over a grilled cheese. Who am I any more?!
I'm me. Version 156.0.
With that, this mutable but strong woman is off to play a little piano. Go easy on yourself this week if you find yourself at odds. You may just have changed when you least expected it. See you next Monday. -Em