It was an industrious week.
On the restaurant front, our staff made a few video cooking demonstrations, and we started a big clean-out for reopening. On the home front, I planted the rest of my garden (helloooo rhubarb and concord grapes). And on the music front, I wrote a few new songs to see if any of them would help round out the new record.
Then I looked at my website for the first time in a long time, and I realized it needed some updating.
It's been 5 years since I've had pictures taken of myself. And with a new album on the horizon, I figured it was time. So I called up Mindy Young, and--keeping on our face masks--we walked out into the world to take a few pictures. Nothing glamorous, just two women trying to capture the city-at-night feeling of the new album.
I thought it would be awkward. I haven't worn make-up in years, let alone entered into a photo shoot. But I slipped into that shoot like it was a pair of old brown shoes. It was easy and comfortable and a lot of fun.
When I got home, I felt instantly guilty and questioned myself. (Isn't that just like guilt to swoop in and ruin a good time?) I wondered: can I really walk around claiming to be a down-to-earth humanitarian and still enjoy getting my picture taken?
Yes. Yes I bloody can.
Reader, I gotta say: I'm tired of guilt. The jig is up, and the illusion is shattered. I'm not just a woman who puts all of her efforts into helping others. I apparently also like to have my damned picture taken.
As I evolve during this quarantine, I'm finding tremendous relief in breaking character. If you also find yourself having a hard time holding yourself to the persona you've invented, I invite you to join me in reinventing it. It's a waste of time to beat ourselves up for stepping outside of a role that we didn't need to hold in the first place.
With that, this mama is off to make a little supper. Go easy on yourself this week. I'll see you on Monday. -Em