Owning a restaurant during COVID-19 has been interesting.  The news we receive from the government changes weekly, sometimes daily.  Two weeks ago, we were told we couldn't open until June 26th.  Last week, we were told we could open in some capacity on June 1st, though we won't receive any guidelines until tomorrow.

I'm getting whiplash from it all.

Rather than respond quickly to the news, I've decided to wait until we have concrete information, and move from there.  So, back to house work, family time, music, and food experiments I go.

One of the things I miss the most during this quarantine has been feedback.  Not just on things I create, but being able to share in the creations of my friends, family, and staff in ways that really can't be accomplished via Zoom and social media.

I miss asking a friend what they think of something I've written, then making adjustments, and in the end, making something better. I miss telling my bartenders their cocktails need a little more citrus, and them creating an improved version of the drink. The critiques and suggestions we give each other make such better end products, and we get to share the fruits of our labor with the ones we love.  

Plus, we get to stroke each others' egos, which we all know feels great.

But here we are, creating without commentary.  It almost makes you wonder why you create at all...

Almost.

Reader, these times will never feel natural to me.  Every cell of my body wants to interact with my friends.  This past week, I wrote a song that I liked a lot, and I also made some halloumi cheese from fresh milk.  The first thing I wanted to do was get feedback on the song, and ask the chefs at my restaurant how I could make the cheese better.  It's human nature to want to share what we make.

But that's not the point of creating.  When I write and cook, I feel a deeper connection with myself.  The practice feels almost religious.  There is something very personal about bringing something to life.  It dawned on me today.

I create for myself, I share for others.  

And there will be time for sharing soon enough.  Until then, I'm going to try to keep creating for myself, regardless of commentary. I hope you're able to do the same.  When this quarantine time ends, I look so forward to tasting and seeing and listening and holding everything you've made during this time.  I leave you with this picture of the cheese I made (I think it might need salt).  I'm looking so forward to enjoying our creations together in the real world soon. -Em