In 2010, I was making a record called "Long Lost Ghosts."  I asked my friend Maria to play the fiddle.  Maria brought her mom with her to the studio, and while Maria was recording, I started talking to her mother. She was a delightful woman, and we chit-chatted about Chicago until she said something that changed my entire life. 

"So, Maria tells me you're in business for yourself." 

It was an innocuous comment, not meant to do more than act as a conversation starter. She simply meant that I was an independent songwriter. 

But it shook me through and through. 

As well-meaning as the observation was, I didn't like how it made me feel.  Even though I had done community service and volunteered at a few charities, she was right: I really wasn't working for anyone but myself. So it was then and there in a warehouse on the south side of Chicago that I made a silent promise to myself.  

From that moment on, I began working not just for me, but for others too. I formed a band that toured for a few years, and I loved working for the other musicians. I started working weekly at Asian Youth Services (where I incidentally tutored only Latino kids). After a couple years, I bought a building and restored it into a restaurant where I still work every day for almost 40 employees.   

Then I got active in the community and other businesses.  I started picking up trash.  I started shoveling my neighbors' sidewalks.  I joined a few boards. And damnit, even though I'm tired at night, I feel so much more inspired having others to care about than I ever did when I was just looking out for Number One. 

Reader, our society loves to talk about self-care.  (And we love to sell products aimed at self-care, but that's a rant for another blog). It truly is an important topic: we have to care for ourselves.  But at the end of the day, caring for ourselves isn't enough.  We can only give ourselves so much. Our lives are much fuller and have more meaning when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to care about others.  

This was an exhausting week for me, but as I reflect on it, I'm so grateful that I have people around me worth caring about, and I hope you do, too. As long as it doesn't come at a personal expense, investing time and resources into working for other people is more energizing than any other self-care regimen I've tried.   

I wish you a meaningful week ahead. It's restaurant week here in Rockford.  If you happen to be in town, stop into The Norwegian for brunch or dinner, brought to you by the best crew I've ever had the opportunity to work for.  See you next Monday. -Em